Back To School Time

It's that time of the year again...

The time I honestly dread every year since my babies were old enough. When most moms can't wait to buy the new clothes and supplies, I'm having to drag myself to the stores to stock up on what they need. When most moms have giant smiles on their faces when they drop off their little munchkins on that first day, I'm sitting in my car with giant crocodile tears streaming down my face.

I honestly don't look forward to the first day of school. It's not that I don't love the idea of my babies learning something new, making new friends, and growing up (well I don't necessarily like the growing up part). I was a teacher after all. I just miss them being home with me.

I had my kids to be with them. I love spending time with them. I love taking them swimming, to the zoo, to the movies. I love listening to them laugh and play. I love staying up late with them to see the moon rise or to star gaze. I love taking summer trips to the mountains so they can fish, go canoeing, and go zooming down an alpine slide. I just love being with them.

So when the first day of school approaches, I get a little sad. I know it's another year of new ideas, new friends, new experiences. And that makes me smile for them. But I also know that means no more late nights and fewer trips. Between Boy Scouts, Scouting commissioner duties, ballet, tutoring, and therapy...we run non stop during the school year. Summer is my time to relax and enjoy the life I work so hard to keep.

So while the rest of my friends are getting positively giddy about crayons, markers, and pencils, I'm sitting with bags of school supplies with pain shooting through my chest. Back to school means a part of me is going to be missing from 8AM to 4PM Monday through Friday. And that is not something to get giddy about.

Not So Terrified Anymore

Well being terrified only got me no sleep and a stomach that couldn't stand any food for days. I decided that was just for the birds and sat down to talk to Jeff about my fears.

Glad I did because, as always, he made me see that he was with me every step of the way and that it would all work out. So, I had a screening interview to get back into the teaching world. It went better than I could ever had imagined.

The HR director for elementary was very positive with me and gave me some great feedback. And I had an interview with an elementary school as well. Although that one wasn't as stellar (didn't feel I did horrible but not outstanding either), I am happy that I faced the fear and got out there. If I get a job in the schools again, I'll be thrilled. But if I don't, I know that things are going to be fine.

I'm not so terrified anymore about going back to teaching. I'm sure I'll be terrified about a thousand other things in the near future. But until then, I'm just going to thank God for the blessings I have and continue to focus on my sweet little family. I'm going to be the best mommy I can and focus on enjoying the few days of summer I have left with them.

So for now, all is in right in the Knobloch world!